What is Good about Marriage?
-6-
I Corinthians 7:1-40
I have said before, the Corinthian church was in sore need of being tuned up. There is quite a difference between 'fine-tuning' and 'out-of-tune'. Musicians will appreciate and understand the difference. Every time a musician picks up his or her stringed instrument, the first thing they do is to check the tuning. Very often one string is off just a bit. A few moments later and the instrument is ready to make beautiful music. (That is, after that one string said … Why are you picking on me!). But when someone tampers with the instrument by taking hold of the tuning pegs and giving them a twist … the instrument produces only discord. The Corinthian church was in discord.
Several areas that needed tuning up have already been addressed, and now Paul turns to the subject of marriage. Your marriage may be in need of fine tuning … or it may be in total discord. Whatever the case, the words of Paul … the words of God in relation to our marriages should be very welcome … and we will have no need to say, Why are you picking on me?! - Right?
1 ¶ Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
Paul seems to be responding to a question from them. The question could have been something like this:
Which is better, staying single or getting married?
Or
Is it a sin to stay single? Is it a sin to get married?
Why would they even be asking such a question? Is there a group who have been advocating singleness? If so they must have had a reason. Would the reason have something to do with a belief that they were very near to the end, and Jesus would be returning soon? Paul was single … would they use him as an example and say everybody needs to remain single.
Whatever was the actual question, Paul answers these questions and then some.
First, he says it is good to remain single. In case someone said singleness is sinful, he assures them that it is not. I will comment further on this a little later on.
Next Paul says that getting married is good also … and he gives one reason in favour of it, and that is to avoid sexual immorality. I am certain he is referring to an active sex drive or sexual appetite. Young men and young women who have sex on their minds should not remain single … they will be tempted into sexual activity outside of marriage.
Verse 3 - What is good about marriage? Number one, because it was and is God's invention. His idea. His plan to create a nucleus for human expansion and a stable social environment. God said it is good (Genesis 1:26-31).
Anything that was or is God's idea is also Satan's direct target … to mutate or destroy entirely. Satan has continuously attacked the family from the very beginning. For some reason or other, he has had a greater success in the last 50 years than at any other time in history.
The religion of our culture has preached gender equality, Women's rights (usually meaning their right to abortion), sexual orientation acceptance, toleration of sexual promiscuity among consenting adults, toleration of minority groups (except Christians), preservation of our planet, the absence of a creator. Their sermons come to us through the media, through 'entertainment' and in public school textbooks. This is Satan's religion. I should say, this is one form of his religion. When he cannot preach this everywhere, he put ministers in place to preach as much error as they can get away with1. To top it off, many of his ministers (playwrights, Commentators, School teachers, many TV preachers) believe the lies and actually think they are preaching truth.
Satan has seriously damaged families and family values in North America and around the world. It is becoming commonplace for a woman to introduce her partner as her wife and for a man to introduce his partner as his husband. But before this became common place, divorce rates skyrocketed. In the 50's it was a tragedy to hear that kids had a step-parent. By the end of the century those who have lived with their biological parents their whole life were in a minority.
What is good about marriage? Number two It is God's designated method to provide a dimension to a relationship called intimacy. Why would God want to do that? Because He desires an 'intimate relationship' with us, and unless we can literally experience intimacy in a close relationship like marriage, we will have difficulty relating to God in a close way. This is the reason that God mentions husband/wife relationship and in the same verse mentions Christ/church relationship (see Eph. 5:25-27).
Intimacy with God comes in varying degrees. Some Christians are very close to God. Others relate at a less close level. The degree of 'closeness' that a person has with God … is up to that person. If it were up to God, our degree of closeness would be 100%. But closeness cannot be forced. So we (human Christians) end up with far less than 100% intimacy. Sometimes our 'distance' has put us down to a 25% or even a 10% intimacy level. In other words, we know we should pray and pray more intimately, but something in our life has caused us to pray short little general prayers. Our Bible intake has been a couple of verses here and there during the week. And this bothers us because our relationship with God has been much better than that in the past.
In the same way, intimacy between husbands and wives can be limited by one of the partners being less comfortable with close intimacy. A little more on this later, also.
Paul has started off by saying that singleness is not a sin. It is implied that Paul was single2. His 'enemies' in the Peter church groups may have spread it around that Paul was living in sin, because they would say:
Reasons that some of the Corinthian young men were staying single
A husband should … The NIV says, 'fulfill his marital duty'. But the actual Greek text is simply, goodwill or kindness. The NKJV says, Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her. This could mean … don't think of your partner as a 'weight' a ball and chain, especially during times of crisis. Or is could include, live as husband and wife sexually, it is holy and it is not sinful.
Verse 4 - The wife does not have authority over her own body
This is where it becomes extremely important to take in the whole context and not just a single verse. If we take just a single verse here, it appears that the woman is to allow her husband to 'take' from her what he wants … sexually. But this verse is closely tied to the preceding verse; Let the husband render to his wife … affection. This action is a giving action, not a taking. So what is this saying? The woman is thinking to herself, “I don't have the right to refuse affection from him. He is not wanting to 'take' something from me … he is 'giving' his affection to me.” And this of course applies equally to the husband. He is to receive her affection as a gift.
How much affection does your spouse enjoy? Is it possible to give too much? What is not enough?
The showing of affection and the word 'intimacy' are closely related.
This is where an understanding of levels of intimacy is important.
True IntimacyIt’s important to understand that true intimacy in a relationship happens over time…not in a day, week or even a month. Think of your best friend…how long did it take before you felt at the highest level of intimacy with them, where you were able to trust them completely, or share your deepest self? It’s the same in romantic relationships…true intimacy develops over time. But another important element is needed for true intimacy…both people in the relationship need to move through the levels together. If I’m sharing at level four with someone (feelings and experiences) but my partner is sharing at level three (opinions and beliefs) we’re not experiencing true intimacy. I may feel closer because I’m sharing at a higher level, but in reality what we have is a false sense of intimacy. In truth, intimacy is measured by the person with the lower level of vulnerability
Do not withhold the affection (which may or may not lead to sexual interaction) due to your partner, except for the purpose of fasting and prayer, and then only for a short period of time.
God designed us to be 'givers'. We are created in the image of God. We love the verse in John 3:16, God so loved the world that he gave … God is a giving God. Satan is a 'taker'. He will turn human thinking into selfish, taking if possible. He has been successful in creating generations of people who are out to see what they can get out of life. It is almost thought of as normal for a young man to think about marriage in terms of the fulfillment he hopes to get. It is almost 'normal' for a woman to 'look over the field' to pick out the man she 'hopes to land'. It is far less common to hear of a man praying and dreaming for someone into which he can invest his life and his affection, but that is God's way.
The closest we come to doing it God's way is listening in on a man who is kneeling and proposing to his girl. At that time he may be making promises of his enduring protection, care and affection … or not.
But verse 5 reminds us of our human appetites.
This is a simple example, but my wife and I are able to say that our dog has never experienced serious hunger. We feed her regularly. We give, she receives. But what if we were to withhold feeding her food for an extended period of time? She would discover hunger pains that she never knew existed. If she were left unattended in that state, to what lengths would she go to have her need met? In a well-balanced good marriage each partner should not be experiencing need because the other partner knows and loves them to the extent that affection is being regularly given and not withheld.
Verse 6 is best understood if it is connected to verse 7. “What I am going to say next, I am saying by God's permission and not by His commanding me to say it, … but I wish all young men these days would just stay single.
In verse 8 he includes the same thing for the women. In verse 9 he recognizes that appetites, big appetites exist. Even while it is the hearts desire for a young man to find a life partner to invest his care and affection, he himself does have his own self-centered appetite. So Paul encourages single people with powerful sex-drives to seek out a partner to share their lives with.
Verse 10 marks a change in Paul's direction.
He now brings up the permanence of marriage. Divorce is not an option in a Christian home. There is no argument that a Christian can use to defend a 'Christian' divorce.
But marriages can turn bad. Christian marriages can turn bad. What then? Paul's prefaces his instruction with … “I am back to saying what God is saying, (this is not just me )… If a marriage is unbearable, separation is an option but not divorce.” (11)
Now in verses 12-13, he addresses MIXED marriages. That is, one person is a saved, born again Christian … the other is an unbeliever.
This is very basic teaching for the Corinthians. Obviously there were those whose thinking went like this … “I am saved now. I am holy. I am a child of God. My partner is not. He (or she) is still a child of Satan. He is not born from above. He is unclean and unholy. I would be defiling my holy body by joining it to someone unholy. God wants me to leave. Surely He has dissolved this union.”
In verse 14 Paul adds something that they may not have heard before. Maybe you have not heard it before. It is simply that as we obey the Great Commission of Jesus, and the gospel goes out into the world to make disciples of people, souls can only be won to Him one person at a time. That means when the gospel comes into a home, the wife may become a believer, but her husband may not, and vice versa. When it comes to the work of the Holy Spirit as He is involved in the process of 'soul-winning', God has promised that the 'unbelieving' partner is set-aside (marked, sanctified) as a target for the Holy Spirit to focus on. God does not want a marriage to be un-equally yoked.
2Co 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
But an unequal yoke is exactly what takes place when one person of the couple gets saved. So God's Holy Spirit will work overtime to bring the other person to repentance and salvation.
So often, in our society at least, it will be the woman who comes to faith first. I am not sure why that is. Could it be something to do with the term 'masculinity'? The guy at first sees 'religion' as a sissy thing? Or perhaps he sees it as something that could rob his freedom and take away things that he enjoys so much?
For a few minutes let's zero in on a passage by Peter that relates to 'winning' an unsaved husband to Christianity.
In I Peter 2 he has been addressing the question, How does a Christian live in an unchristian society?
How do we relate to government? How do we relate our boss in the workplace? And then, How do we relate to a non Christian in our marriage?
The answers are the same for each area: We are to submit to the authority of the government under which we are living, we are to submit to our employers as if we were working directly for God, and then finally, we are to submit to one another in marriage. The submissive attitude of a believer will go a long way toward winning someone to Christ. And that is the whole point of our being left here on earth. So when a christian woman finds herself married to an non-christian man … submission is the key to winning him to Christ.
1Pe 3:1 ¶ Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives,
2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes.
4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,
6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
As long as that unbeliever is willing to live with the believer … the believer must not depart.
If, however, the unbeliever wants to end the relationship, the believer must let him or her go. (15) The marriage is over. This instruction may be necessary because some believers did not want to release their unbelieving partner … why? Because they are desperately trying to 'save' them. But verse 16 says, How do you know whether you can save them? You don't know that. To insist that they stay could mean constant fighting. God wants each marriage to experience peace. (v15)
What is good about marriage?
Marriage is God's fix for “It is not good for the man to be alone ...”
Is is God's way of creating a 'oneness' between two people that will illustrate and equip us to a oneness with God Himself. In Islam it is taught that God is unknowable. In the bible and Christianity it is taught that we can know God intimately and that we can experience that Oneness both here and in eternity to come.
1 2Co 11:13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ.14 And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.
2 I Corinthians 7:7
3 Dr. Barnes, commenting on I Corinthians 7:1
4 https://www.familylifecanada.com/marriage/the-five-levels-of-intimacy/
Several areas that needed tuning up have already been addressed, and now Paul turns to the subject of marriage. Your marriage may be in need of fine tuning … or it may be in total discord. Whatever the case, the words of Paul … the words of God in relation to our marriages should be very welcome … and we will have no need to say, Why are you picking on me?! - Right?
1 ¶ Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
Paul seems to be responding to a question from them. The question could have been something like this:
Which is better, staying single or getting married?
Or
Is it a sin to stay single? Is it a sin to get married?
Why would they even be asking such a question? Is there a group who have been advocating singleness? If so they must have had a reason. Would the reason have something to do with a belief that they were very near to the end, and Jesus would be returning soon? Paul was single … would they use him as an example and say everybody needs to remain single.
Whatever was the actual question, Paul answers these questions and then some.
First, he says it is good to remain single. In case someone said singleness is sinful, he assures them that it is not. I will comment further on this a little later on.
Next Paul says that getting married is good also … and he gives one reason in favour of it, and that is to avoid sexual immorality. I am certain he is referring to an active sex drive or sexual appetite. Young men and young women who have sex on their minds should not remain single … they will be tempted into sexual activity outside of marriage.
Verse 3 - What is good about marriage? Number one, because it was and is God's invention. His idea. His plan to create a nucleus for human expansion and a stable social environment. God said it is good (Genesis 1:26-31).
Anything that was or is God's idea is also Satan's direct target … to mutate or destroy entirely. Satan has continuously attacked the family from the very beginning. For some reason or other, he has had a greater success in the last 50 years than at any other time in history.
The religion of our culture has preached gender equality, Women's rights (usually meaning their right to abortion), sexual orientation acceptance, toleration of sexual promiscuity among consenting adults, toleration of minority groups (except Christians), preservation of our planet, the absence of a creator. Their sermons come to us through the media, through 'entertainment' and in public school textbooks. This is Satan's religion. I should say, this is one form of his religion. When he cannot preach this everywhere, he put ministers in place to preach as much error as they can get away with1. To top it off, many of his ministers (playwrights, Commentators, School teachers, many TV preachers) believe the lies and actually think they are preaching truth.
Satan has seriously damaged families and family values in North America and around the world. It is becoming commonplace for a woman to introduce her partner as her wife and for a man to introduce his partner as his husband. But before this became common place, divorce rates skyrocketed. In the 50's it was a tragedy to hear that kids had a step-parent. By the end of the century those who have lived with their biological parents their whole life were in a minority.
What is good about marriage? Number two It is God's designated method to provide a dimension to a relationship called intimacy. Why would God want to do that? Because He desires an 'intimate relationship' with us, and unless we can literally experience intimacy in a close relationship like marriage, we will have difficulty relating to God in a close way. This is the reason that God mentions husband/wife relationship and in the same verse mentions Christ/church relationship (see Eph. 5:25-27).
Intimacy with God comes in varying degrees. Some Christians are very close to God. Others relate at a less close level. The degree of 'closeness' that a person has with God … is up to that person. If it were up to God, our degree of closeness would be 100%. But closeness cannot be forced. So we (human Christians) end up with far less than 100% intimacy. Sometimes our 'distance' has put us down to a 25% or even a 10% intimacy level. In other words, we know we should pray and pray more intimately, but something in our life has caused us to pray short little general prayers. Our Bible intake has been a couple of verses here and there during the week. And this bothers us because our relationship with God has been much better than that in the past.
In the same way, intimacy between husbands and wives can be limited by one of the partners being less comfortable with close intimacy. A little more on this later, also.
Paul has started off by saying that singleness is not a sin. It is implied that Paul was single2. His 'enemies' in the Peter church groups may have spread it around that Paul was living in sin, because they would say:
- God ordained (commanded) marriage in the Garden of Eden
- The Christians with a Jewish background may have still held to the teaching, “A 20 year old male is sinning by staying single.”
Reasons that some of the Corinthian young men were staying single
- They may have accepted some of their present day Greek philosphy : Many even of the Greek philosophers, among whom were Lycurgus, Thales, Antiphanes, and Socrates, thought that, considering "the untractable tempers of women, and how troublesome and fraught with danger was the education of children, " it was (simply) wisdom not to enter into the marriage relation.3
- A misuse of Paul's teaching, “All things are lawful for me” permitted a single life of promiscuity.
- Skipping to verses 25 and 26 Paul mentions virgins. He is including both male and female virgins. This is his term for singles. These are two different things these days, right? And Paul adds a practical reason to remain single. He calls it, “this present distress” or “present crisis”. Christianity was being attacked. Often Christians would be on the run. To run with a family would make things much more difficult. So Paul is giving a simple practical reason for remaining single … during times of crisis.
A husband should … The NIV says, 'fulfill his marital duty'. But the actual Greek text is simply, goodwill or kindness. The NKJV says, Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her. This could mean … don't think of your partner as a 'weight' a ball and chain, especially during times of crisis. Or is could include, live as husband and wife sexually, it is holy and it is not sinful.
Verse 4 - The wife does not have authority over her own body
This is where it becomes extremely important to take in the whole context and not just a single verse. If we take just a single verse here, it appears that the woman is to allow her husband to 'take' from her what he wants … sexually. But this verse is closely tied to the preceding verse; Let the husband render to his wife … affection. This action is a giving action, not a taking. So what is this saying? The woman is thinking to herself, “I don't have the right to refuse affection from him. He is not wanting to 'take' something from me … he is 'giving' his affection to me.” And this of course applies equally to the husband. He is to receive her affection as a gift.
- Verse 5: Do not deprive one another that is, Do not withhold the giving of affection (that leads to sexual union) except by consent … and then only for fasting and prayer.
The last part of the verse mentions self-control or the lack of it. The underlying principle is this:
Sex drives exist. They may differ between male and female. Each needs to be aware of each others' need, sexually. So what we are seeing here as being 'normal' … is a husband or a wife giving affection to one another. This is a giving action. If one has a 'need for affection' that would not come up or be noticed. He or she would only be aware of a 'need' if the need were not being met. That is, each of us must be aware of what position we are putting our spouse in, if we withhold 'affection' for a period of time.
How much affection does your spouse enjoy? Is it possible to give too much? What is not enough?
The showing of affection and the word 'intimacy' are closely related.
This is where an understanding of levels of intimacy is important.
- Safe communication – simple 'Chit-chat'. “Lousy weather we are having” “Who won the game?”
- Others' opinions and beliefs - “My mother used to say …”, “My favorite author says, ….” Low risk.
- Personal opinions and beliefs - “I think ...” “I believe that ...” “I have never liked ...”
- My feelings and Experiences - “I can't stand …!” “You know, the best holiday I ever had was ...”
- My need, Emotions and Desires - “I always love it when ...” “I am hurt when you don't ...”
True IntimacyIt’s important to understand that true intimacy in a relationship happens over time…not in a day, week or even a month. Think of your best friend…how long did it take before you felt at the highest level of intimacy with them, where you were able to trust them completely, or share your deepest self? It’s the same in romantic relationships…true intimacy develops over time. But another important element is needed for true intimacy…both people in the relationship need to move through the levels together. If I’m sharing at level four with someone (feelings and experiences) but my partner is sharing at level three (opinions and beliefs) we’re not experiencing true intimacy. I may feel closer because I’m sharing at a higher level, but in reality what we have is a false sense of intimacy. In truth, intimacy is measured by the person with the lower level of vulnerability
Do not withhold the affection (which may or may not lead to sexual interaction) due to your partner, except for the purpose of fasting and prayer, and then only for a short period of time.
God designed us to be 'givers'. We are created in the image of God. We love the verse in John 3:16, God so loved the world that he gave … God is a giving God. Satan is a 'taker'. He will turn human thinking into selfish, taking if possible. He has been successful in creating generations of people who are out to see what they can get out of life. It is almost thought of as normal for a young man to think about marriage in terms of the fulfillment he hopes to get. It is almost 'normal' for a woman to 'look over the field' to pick out the man she 'hopes to land'. It is far less common to hear of a man praying and dreaming for someone into which he can invest his life and his affection, but that is God's way.
The closest we come to doing it God's way is listening in on a man who is kneeling and proposing to his girl. At that time he may be making promises of his enduring protection, care and affection … or not.
But verse 5 reminds us of our human appetites.
This is a simple example, but my wife and I are able to say that our dog has never experienced serious hunger. We feed her regularly. We give, she receives. But what if we were to withhold feeding her food for an extended period of time? She would discover hunger pains that she never knew existed. If she were left unattended in that state, to what lengths would she go to have her need met? In a well-balanced good marriage each partner should not be experiencing need because the other partner knows and loves them to the extent that affection is being regularly given and not withheld.
Verse 6 is best understood if it is connected to verse 7. “What I am going to say next, I am saying by God's permission and not by His commanding me to say it, … but I wish all young men these days would just stay single.
In verse 8 he includes the same thing for the women. In verse 9 he recognizes that appetites, big appetites exist. Even while it is the hearts desire for a young man to find a life partner to invest his care and affection, he himself does have his own self-centered appetite. So Paul encourages single people with powerful sex-drives to seek out a partner to share their lives with.
Verse 10 marks a change in Paul's direction.
He now brings up the permanence of marriage. Divorce is not an option in a Christian home. There is no argument that a Christian can use to defend a 'Christian' divorce.
But marriages can turn bad. Christian marriages can turn bad. What then? Paul's prefaces his instruction with … “I am back to saying what God is saying, (this is not just me )… If a marriage is unbearable, separation is an option but not divorce.” (11)
Now in verses 12-13, he addresses MIXED marriages. That is, one person is a saved, born again Christian … the other is an unbeliever.
This is very basic teaching for the Corinthians. Obviously there were those whose thinking went like this … “I am saved now. I am holy. I am a child of God. My partner is not. He (or she) is still a child of Satan. He is not born from above. He is unclean and unholy. I would be defiling my holy body by joining it to someone unholy. God wants me to leave. Surely He has dissolved this union.”
In verse 14 Paul adds something that they may not have heard before. Maybe you have not heard it before. It is simply that as we obey the Great Commission of Jesus, and the gospel goes out into the world to make disciples of people, souls can only be won to Him one person at a time. That means when the gospel comes into a home, the wife may become a believer, but her husband may not, and vice versa. When it comes to the work of the Holy Spirit as He is involved in the process of 'soul-winning', God has promised that the 'unbelieving' partner is set-aside (marked, sanctified) as a target for the Holy Spirit to focus on. God does not want a marriage to be un-equally yoked.
2Co 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
But an unequal yoke is exactly what takes place when one person of the couple gets saved. So God's Holy Spirit will work overtime to bring the other person to repentance and salvation.
So often, in our society at least, it will be the woman who comes to faith first. I am not sure why that is. Could it be something to do with the term 'masculinity'? The guy at first sees 'religion' as a sissy thing? Or perhaps he sees it as something that could rob his freedom and take away things that he enjoys so much?
For a few minutes let's zero in on a passage by Peter that relates to 'winning' an unsaved husband to Christianity.
In I Peter 2 he has been addressing the question, How does a Christian live in an unchristian society?
How do we relate to government? How do we relate our boss in the workplace? And then, How do we relate to a non Christian in our marriage?
The answers are the same for each area: We are to submit to the authority of the government under which we are living, we are to submit to our employers as if we were working directly for God, and then finally, we are to submit to one another in marriage. The submissive attitude of a believer will go a long way toward winning someone to Christ. And that is the whole point of our being left here on earth. So when a christian woman finds herself married to an non-christian man … submission is the key to winning him to Christ.
1Pe 3:1 ¶ Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives,
2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes.
4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,
6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
As long as that unbeliever is willing to live with the believer … the believer must not depart.
If, however, the unbeliever wants to end the relationship, the believer must let him or her go. (15) The marriage is over. This instruction may be necessary because some believers did not want to release their unbelieving partner … why? Because they are desperately trying to 'save' them. But verse 16 says, How do you know whether you can save them? You don't know that. To insist that they stay could mean constant fighting. God wants each marriage to experience peace. (v15)
What is good about marriage?
Marriage is God's fix for “It is not good for the man to be alone ...”
Is is God's way of creating a 'oneness' between two people that will illustrate and equip us to a oneness with God Himself. In Islam it is taught that God is unknowable. In the bible and Christianity it is taught that we can know God intimately and that we can experience that Oneness both here and in eternity to come.
1 2Co 11:13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ.14 And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.
2 I Corinthians 7:7
3 Dr. Barnes, commenting on I Corinthians 7:1
4 https://www.familylifecanada.com/marriage/the-five-levels-of-intimacy/